Animal School

This is a great story that embodies our philosophy .......

Once upon a time, the animals decided they must do something definite to meet the problems of a "new world". So they decide to organize a new school.

They adopted a curriculum consisting of running, swimming, climbing, and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum and to graduate "well-rounded" young animals, all the animals took all the subjects offered.

The duck was excellent in swimming, in fact, better than his instructor; but he made only passing grades in flying and was very poor in running. Since he was a slow runner, he had to stay after school and also drop swimming in order to practice running. This was kept up until his webbed feet were badly worn and he was only average in swimming. But average was acceptable in school, so nobody worried about that, except the duck.

The rabbit started at the top of the class in running, but had a nervous breakdown because of so much make-up work in swimming.

The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustration in the flying class where his teacher made him start from the ground instead of from the treetop where he was good at it. He also developed muscle cramps from overexertion and eventually got a C in climbing and a D in running.

The eagle was a problem child and was disciplined severely. In the climbing class he beat all the others to the top of the tree, but insisted on using his own way to get there. This was not acceptable to the school system. He spent so much time in detention that he missed most of his running classes altogether (which seemed to be OK with the eagle). He dropped out of school and became a fisherman. He eventually opened an extremely successful seafood restaurant, parleyed it into an international chain and today has a private jet and a 2 billion dollar home in the very prestigious Cliff-Side Estates. Many in the school system now brag that they were once Mr. B.G. Eagle’s home room teacher.

The prairie dog stayed out of school and fought the tax levy because the administration would not add digging and burrowing to the curriculum. They apprenticed their child to a badger, and later joined the groundhogs and gophers to start a successful prairie school in digging and burrowing.

George Reavis, 1940
Superintendent - Cincinnati Public Schools